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Cook, clean, repeat. Every stay at home moms’ dream…NOT. Isn’t it crazy that we either think stay at home moms cook and clean all day, or do absolutely nothing? What is the “norm” in today’s world?
Hi and welcome! Today I wanted to dive in on a subject that friends, family, and of course, society all have their two cents about. Is a stay at home mom a working mom? Can she be both? What does a stay at home do all day long? In this world, you will hear it all:
“Bet she just watches TV all day”
“She doesn’t cook dinner every night, I saw pizza get delivered again”
“She’s not going to be able to work AND take care of her house”
“Working from home… she’s never going to focus on those kids”
I get to not only work from home, but stay at home with my kids. My hours, my life, my boundaries. YOU CAN TOO! OR NOT! It’s totally up to you and your partner to decide! Running my own Boudoir & Wedding Photography business is TOUGH with being at home. I make the time to work, schedule calls, emails, studio time, and balance home life. Why doesn’t anyone actually warn us about this when we’re teens or talking about having kids? We shouldn’t have to choose between being successful or spending time with our kids.
I’m an honest person, so I’m not going to sit here and brag about all the work I get done all the time because it doesn’t get done. I watch tv (well kids tv), sit on my phone, play with the kids, clean, and sometimes cook. Come on, who can keep up with cooking every single night for 365 days, who wants to? As a result, you’ll get tired and honestly start to envy your partner for not helping more if you do it all.
Of course not! It’s all your choice! Well, and your partners but overall, you get to decide what you do and when you do it. Isn’t that awesome? I love being able to make my own hours and boundaries. It gives me the freedom I want for my life, and you can do it too, on your terms. The most important part of what you’re reading is this, YOU GET YOUR LIFE THE WAY YOU WANT IT. That’s part of the reason I picked Boudoir & Weddings, I get to not only pick my hours but also the dates I work. I won’t need to request time off for a birthday party or to take a staycation if I want to. Isn’t that the dream? We can all talk about this dream as much as we want but let’s talk about who’s butting in on your dreams.
I want you to forget all the people whispering in your ear. Such as, your mother in laws, your mothers, sometimes they are the biggest culprits but not always. Heck even fellow moms, and of course, even friends can unfortunately be in this loop as well. You can literally be in the parking lot waiting for your little to get out of school and here comes a fellow mom, “what do you do for a living?”. BOOM, either you tell them “I’m a photographer” or “I’m a stay at home mom”.Bring on the eye rolls or the ever so favorite “Oh that’s cool”, *insert eye roll*. Seriously though, tell me you haven’t done the same thing to a photographer. OR if you say “I’m a stay at home mom”, *insert lazy thoughts*. Is there ever any winning? Stay at home moms get a bad rap, do we even know why?
The constant judgement from fellow moms and the people you hold closest is a tough blow to take. As moms, we always are on blast for every single decision. One of the biggest challenges, it seems, is respecting other’s opinions. We get so caught up with our emotions that we don’t even consider all factors as to why one mom does things one way vs another way. Can we all just agree, if the child or children are not in danger or being abused, it’s none of our business. Like I said earlier, not your family not your choice.
We look to others for approval, some, if not all of the time and then, we find ourselves either thinking they’re right about us being “lazy”, or my personal favorite “kick rocks dude”. Are you as lazy as people think? Definitely not. Why are we expected to be perfect, like we just came out of the 50’s waiting for our knights in shining armor to come home? I think, screw them. And leave it at that.
Then you’re left on the other side of this, working “too” much. I can’t stand this one even more than the last. I make my own hours and I still get a bad rap for being both. Can you please everyone? NOPE!
I can’t give you the perfect answer, because it’ll be so different for all of us. My recommendations? Honestly, a staycation is always perfect for everybody but you have to do something for yourself. What’s your favorite hobby? Tell me the things you did before you had kids; dancing, reading a book, feeling strong at the gym?
Things I think every mom needs:
A boudoir session – https://jordanfletcherphotography.com/boudoir
A good book – https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/32320518-you-are-a-badass
A sisterhood to support them – https://www.facebook.com/groups/3460566660835736
And lastly, to be reminded, YOU ARE A GOOD MOM!
Seriously, stay at home moms, working moms, or both, you freaking rock. Don’t let anyone take away your shine.